We love toilets!

For those of you who don't know, I have a big secret. Shhhh.... I drive a minivan. I know, I know, it is terrible! (I feel like I need a sign that reads "I am single and have one, yup, only one kid") Anyways...we have been told that the new work car is going to be the Ford Fusion. Sporty. Cute.

Cute - remember that, I will come back to it.

So, one of my coworkers is due to get a new car and does not want the Fusion - she is bummed to be losing her minivan. So, I offered to switch and take the new car. Hey, I get to order a brand new car! What could be cooler?

I went to the dealer today to pick out what I wanted and my colors. Isabel was with me and did not quite understand how we would get the car. When I told her that it was coming in the mail, she insisted that the car is too big for the mail. (She also wanted red, but I keep telling her that it is going to be black when it comes home.)

After going to the dealer, I stopped by my mom's to pick up some decorations that I had in storage. When I opened the back of my minivan, I noticed that I had the following:
one toilet (bowl and tank)
two toilet seats
one flushometer
one commercial faucet
one kitchen faucet
three boxes of literature

and, well that is as far as I could see from the pile. (the decorations went up front with Isabel)

Remember cute?

Did I just order a cute car? This is going to get interesting... Although I am excited to get a new car and lose the stigma of driving a minivan, I am not so good at packing - my car is going to be a jumble!

Back at home, Isabel spent the evening chanting "We love toilets! We love toilets!" --- just had to throw that in there because it was cute enough to earn the title of this entry.

The moral of the story? I will now be trying hard to get rid of said toilet, seats, faucet, flushometer and all other random items in my mini.

Too sick for potty humor.

4 straight days off work to enjoy and how did I spend it? Sick. Ugh. Of course, now that it is Sunday evening I am starting to feel better. I am still sniffling, but my voice is back and I should be somewhat presentable for work tomorrow.

Why is it that sickness seems to come on vacations/holidays?

A Clog in my Pipes.

A couple of days - err... weeks ago, the toilet in my half bath became clogged. No culprits have been named. I looked at my mom. She looked at Isabel. Isabel blamed it on her imaginary brother. There was no plunger in there. (Hey, if it was a Kohler, it wouldn't have clogged in the first place!)

I go to my brother's bathroom and steal his plunger and use it for 3 days. It was pretty lousy and didn't really plunge very good, but one out of three flushes actually worked without assistance, so I figured I was doing pretty good!

Then I noticed that I also had a plunger in my other bath - woo-hoo! Victory! Nope, this one was worse than the original. I don't think that one even deserves to be called a plunger - it will most likely go into the trash on the next dumpster run.

My mom was making fun of my malfunctioning toilet (I work with them all day afterall) so I made a desperate attempt and purchased a brand spanking new plunger from Target. This one had to work. The handle looks like... well, I am not going to say - you will have to come see and make your own conclusions about what the handle looks like.

No luck. Flush. Clog. Plunge. Plunge. Flush. Clog. Flush. Clog. Plunge. Plunge. Flush. etc.

Finally, my mom offers up the "snake" that they have at our house. I guess with 9 boys, they had a lot of use for these growing up.

I borrowed the snake tonight. Now, I have worked with a lot of plumbers. I have seen the snake at work multiple times and have the process down. It should be easy to do. Wrong again. (are you getting the theme?) I called my mom and begged for my dad's help.

He came over. Plunge. (with plunger #3). Flush. Flush. Flush. Flush.

Done.

He did it in one plunge.

And now to go with my humilation I have 3 plungers and a snake in a half bath off my kitchen.

How do you determine where you have been and where you are going?

How do you determine? Is your life mapped out? Do you know where you are going? Where you have been?

These were the deep thoughts running through my mind today when I took a much needed break from the road today. I pulled over and RAN into McDonald's in Uxbridge after downing 2 cups of coffee on the road.

I open the stall door and immediately think, "Hmmm... an American Standard." Toilet, that is.

I didn't just notice the toilet. I thought for a while about how this American Standard toilet ended up in a McDonald's less than a mile from one of my stores. How did we miss this? Who sold them this toilet? Why did they put an American Standard in?

It occurred to me when I got back into the car that I literally take note of the toilets everywhere I go. I am a woman obsessed. Sometimes, in particularly desperate times, I even lift up the seat with my foot to check the seat brand.

Those of you who have been to dinner with me have probably been subject to my description of what toilet is in the bathroom at the restaurant we happen to be at. A coworker told me that if I ever find one of my toilets that isn't working, I will probably fix it. In a restaurant. A public place. Me.

So where was I last week? American Standard, Kohler, Kohler, Church, American Standard, Kohler.

Where am I going? Probably Kohler, Kohler, American Standard - if I am feeling a little wild, there may be a Toto in there.

Like I said at the bottom of the page, don't be jealous.

Oh, and right now? I am off to a Mansfield (with a Church seat)...

The toilet pick-up line?

One of the perks(?) of my job is evenings out schmoozing with various people in the home/construction/real estate business and what-not. Tonight I had an event which I just wanted to pop in and visit - no major involvement needed on my part.

So, I meet a woman and I am talking to her about where I live, looking for a new place, real estate market, etc. I mentioned that my mom watches my daughter and I do not want to move too far from her. She suddenly asks "Are you seeing someone?"

I was confused.... what did she mean? how do you answer this question? does she mean work or personally? ....

I gave her a puzzled look and said "Seeing a real estate agent?" The funny look on my face must have embarrassed her. She quickly recovered "No, I mean, are you married? Do you have a boyfriend?"

Well, being in a mainly male workforce, I was always warned that I would be hit on. I never expected it to be by a woman! It caught me a little off guard until she explained that she meant for her son who is a single parent also.

Don't be surprised; I did my pitch for the group and gave her my number. We may have increased by one!

The other side of the bed.

I snuggled into my blanket last night, happy to be warm in bed when I knew it was cold outside. I pulled my hand back in quickly after poking it out to test the temperature. Too darn cold.

What's this? A space heater in bed with me? A sigh on the other side of the bed and a warm body snuggling up against my back?

Don't let your imagination run away with you. It is my daughter, who somehow always manages to sneak into bed without me knowing. She will be a great spy...or something when she gets older.

I had pictured much more interesting things for my life. I remember when Isabel was born; I made a conscious decision to not let her sleep in my bed. I diligently woke up every few hours and put her back down in her bed after comforting. When she was 6 months old, I read every book I could get my hands on and finally decided to "Ferberize" her. If you are not so fortunate to be acquainted, this method of child rearing consists of the "cry it out" mentality. This was a hard won battle, but I was committed. No kids in the marital bed. They should sleep in their own room. They (and I) need our independence!

Yet here I am, a mere 3 years later with my daughter managing to stake a claim on "her" side of my bed. The nerve! But, I haven't moved my pillows to the middle of my bed (which I thought I would as my final declaration of being single.)

I guess I should admit that on these cold nights, sometimes a little pint-size space heater is appreciated.

In the begining, there was Veteran's Day

Day one of "the blog." I thought I would give the intro about why I am opening my life up to the word. It is interesting. Bottom Line.

Hahahaaa -- ooh, I just gave myself a good laugh there! Actually, I just wanted you to see from my daily adventures that someone's life is worse than yours. Do you believe in a higher power? I do and I firmly believe he is up there watching my life play out like the weekly sitcom. The two biggest things in my life are my job (toilets) and my daughter (single mom, only child). They both manage to keep my life going!

~~~

Amazingly fitting that today is Veteran's day. We have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of my brother home from Iraq on mid-tour vacation. After spending the morning at the local parade, which consisted of precisely 1 marching band, 8 corvettes, 50 boy and girl scouts and a fire truck, we convened to my mom's house to relax. My brother Joe enters the house, "I saw a soldier in uniform walking down the street that looked like Kevin." So, my mom runs down the street, tears streaming to embrace my brother home for two weeks. Ah, poetic. Slightly cheesy and completely fitting for the holiday.

The next few weeks are sure to be fun-filled: the crazy family wedding, the wild Thanksgiving, and then the move into the Christmas holiday. Keep reading!